It is so important to give the new family some space to enjoy these priceless first days with their baby.
The new parents are probably keen to show off their new addition to the world, but they waited a long time for their baby’s arrival and giving them space to and adjust to this new human is the best gift you can give them during the early days
Babies require round the clock care and giving them time to settle is just what they need!
Here are my top tips to help you secure a second invitation for cuddles, by impressing the new parents by being the perfect guest.
Please do not drop by unannounced. EVER.
I know you are excited to meet the baby……..NEWSFLASH this is not about you or your needs. The first days (weeks) home with baby is probably the most precious time for parents. Giving them time to settle in and enjoy their bundle without having to share him is the most precious gift you can give them.
They will not be offended that you did not visit when they just got home, I promise they will Love you for it.
If you want to score some points with the parents, arrive with a meal for the family! Babies need round the clock care, leaving very little time to cook let alone eat a proper meal. If you know the Mom is breastfeeding make sure you take food that won’t upset the baby and will help boost her milk supply. (really thoughtful huh!)
P.S. even though you should not visit in the first few weeks, it’s okay to drop a meal off or even some power snacks for Mom and Dad to let them know you thinking of them. (but call first to say you are just dropping off and make sure you do just that)
Before you do anything make sure you wash your hands. Let her know that her babies health is top of mind for you. The whole hygiene thing should be second nature to all of us but alas not everyone thinks that way. Do the right thing and if you not the only visitor encourage your co-visitors to do the same 😉
If you smoke it would be best to make sure you did not smoke at least an hour before visiting and if you do rather don’t hold or touch the baby.
Most people are not aware that kissing a baby can be extremely harmful to him or her. I know babies just look so kissable – but please do not kiss the baby on the face or hands because they put their hands in their mouth. Don’t be offended if the Mom asks you to not kiss her baby.
Leave your children at home, it is really stressful having someone visit and their child or children run around the house screaming. Keep the visit stress and anxiety free. I promise she will appreciate you for it.
If you are sick, feeling like you are coming down with something, or someone you live with is sick – Do not, I repeat Do not visit. New babies have undeveloped immune systems and the last thing you want is to make Mom or baby sick.
If you have a close relationship with the mom, then you can do things without asking. (If you ask she is likely to say no, but you know her best)
Do the dishes, put a load in the washing machine, fold some washing, tidying up and pack things away.
If you think it might make her uncomfortable – say to her I really want to do the ________ for you. Will you indulge me? It is a whole lot better than asking if there is anything she wants you to do.
I know… why else did you visit right? But new moms are so protective of their babies, you are in their territory. I always felt anxious when visitors wanted to take turns and pass the baby around. (If you are a Mom reading this don’t feel bad about holding onto your baby or saying no I just settled her). Rather wait until she offers you to hold the baby.
This is probably the biggest pet peeves of new mothers everywhere. Babies are not meant to be shared, if you are lucky enough to be allowed to hold the baby then make sure you have a quick cuddle (remember no kissing baby) and then return the baby back to Mama. If the baby starts crying do not try to soothe or comfort the baby – there is only one person he wants, his Mama. It is torture for a mother to sit and watch her baby cry when she can provide immediate comfort.
Take your cues from Mom. Long visits really took a lot out of me, and messed up my whole illusion of our routine. Be sure to look for signals from her, like if she indicates she wants to feed the baby or needs to pump or she might just say she feels tired that is her way of gently asking you to leave.
This is just a guideline but in the first 6 weeks (once she has given the greenlight for your to visit) keep them short 30 -45 minutes tops.
Do you have any tips you would like to share? Leave a comment and let us know.
P.S. Know a new Mom or Mom to be, share this article with her or better yet pass it on for her…
I received this beautifully packaged gift hamper from The Mummary last week. A stunning nursing cover and yummy lactation granola… yip “lactation granola!”
Breastfeeding is something close to my heart – it is the best way to bond with your baby and also a big sacrifice. Life has to be carefully planned around feeding and pumping and feeding again. So I have been breastfeeding my third child for 6 weeks now.
A breastfeeding/nursing cover is an essential accessory, a must have if you breastfeeding.
I breastfed my now 3-year-old for 28 months. Packing my nursing cover when going out was as important as wet wipes and a change of clothes in baby’s bag! Nursing covers make breastfeeding in public stress-free. I am a proud breastfeeding mother but don’t like the idea of exposing my boobs in public. Baby feeding rooms are often smelly or occupied. Using a nursing cover made this journey so much easier. Not only that I don’t have to miss out on the conversation and getting back to cold food when at a restaurant.
Lactation cookies Recipe
Breastfeeding Mama’s know nursing is hand work. I breastfed Alec for 2 and a half years and often needed a boost. I came across this recipe while researching breastfeeding articles after he was born. I was determined to Breastfeed for at least a year so was excited to try these out! They have become a favourite in our home and I double the ingredients to make a bigger batch.
I baked a batch a few days before my daughter was due and my milk came in on day 2! I was filling up and needed to pump because my supply exceeded the demand.
Warning these are highly addictive!
3 cups rolled oats 320g
2 cups whole wheat flour (or self-rising white flour)
3 Tablespoons brewers (Don’ substitute with normal yeast)
1 teaspoon baking soda 5g ( only if using whole-wheat or cake flour)
1 cup coconut oil or butter softened.
1 ½ cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
¼ cup ground flax meal 30g ( if you have whole flax seed you can grind it using a coffee grinder).
1 teaspoon cinnamon (Optional)
½ teaspoon salt (Himalayan if you have)
2-3 tablespoons of water
1 cup chocolate chips 215g (Can use dairy free dark chocolate chips)
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
Cream together the coconut oil/butter and brown sugar. Then add the eggs & vanilla.
In a separate bowl mix the dry ingredients, leaving out the oats and chocolate chips
In a small bowl add the flax seed meal and water let sit for a few minutes before adding.
Stir in the dry ingredients, about ½ cup at a time. You can use a stand mixer on low, or just stir them in by hand with a large spoon.
Stir in the oats & chocolate chips and mix well.
Line cookie sheets with parchment paper and drop one and a half inch balls about an inch apart.
I also like to pat my cookies down a bit so they spread nicely.
Bake for 10-12 minutes, until the edges, are just turning golden.
Remove from oven and let cool.
Store in an airtight container on the counter for up to one week, or in the freezer for up to three months.
Serving size: 1 cookie Calories: 163 Fat: 8.15g Saturated fat: 4.81g Carbohydrates: 28.18gSugar: 11.11g Sodium: 53.33mg Fiber: 8g Protein: 3.52g Cholesterol: 10mg
As far as I am aware, there is no official research into lactation cookies. I cannot guarantee that it will work for everyone but it certainly works for me.
Note: You can add more brewers yeast if you don’t see much of an increase. I get my Brewer’s yeast from Dischem, where you will find most of the ingredients listed.
♥ I Love Breastfeeding ♥
Having had 3 Caesars, the third one 2 weeks ago I always felt a little robbed so being able to breastfeed gave me a great sense of accomplishment.
My oldest son is 8 years old and I was more than a little naive when it came to breastfeeding, being a first time Mom I listened to well meaning but uninformed individuals about what was best for my baby – “your baby is hungry”, “you don’t have enough milk” they said. I gave in and started offering him top up feeds, little did I know every bottle I gave my baby reduced my breast milk supply and after 4 months my baby refused the boob and preferred the bottle and well my milk supply diminished…
The second time around I did things differently – Firstly I met with a lactation consultant – one appointment was all it took for me. She showed me how to latch baby properly and gave me some great tips: The most important one being: Do not give any top up feeds! Equipped with this knowledge I successfully breastfed for two and a half years! No Bottles, no Formula and I’m proud to say that I have a very healthy, happy and bright 3 year old.
Third time around I am more at ease, we had no problems with latching and two weeks into breastfeeding my girl, we are enjoying our fourth trimester and looking forward to the next few years of breastfeeding.
Deciding how long to breastfeed for is a personal choice – only you and your baby can decide. But even if breastfeeding for just a few days your baby will receive invaluable protection.
The longer you breastfeed, the more benefits your baby will receive. Here is a timeline that might help you decide how long you will stay on this journey.
1. Nursing your baby in the first few days – he will receive the first milk called colostrum. Best described as “nature’s vaccine for the newborn”, colostrum has a high concentration of antibodies, some of which babies cannot get any other way. Through these antibodies, each mother provides her baby with protection from illnesses she has had as well as illnesses she is exposed to in their environment for as long as she is breastfeeding. Although formulas are continuously being modified to be “most like mother’s milk,” they will always fall short, because human milk is a living fluid and it is these living properties that enhance the functioning of a baby’s immune system. Colostrum is also easier to digest than the proteins in formula and is designed to meet baby’s nutritional needs. You will also benefit from these early breastfeeding days. Breastfeeding helps a mother’s body recover more quickly from childbirth by releasing hormones that contract the uterus and prevent excess bleeding. Breastfeeding is also a wonderful way to bring mother and baby closer while they’re getting to know each other.
2. Breastfeeding for four to six weeks – your milk will ease your baby through the most critical part of infancy. As a mother’s milk changes from colostrum to a thinner, more mature and plentiful milk, it continues to contain protective antibodies. That is why breastfed newborns are less likely to become sick when exposed to germs and illnesses and have fewer digestive and respiratory problems. Breastfed babies are rarely sick or hospitalized. Breastfed babies are also less likely to suffer from bronchitis and wheezing and less likely to die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). Breastfeeding guarantees a lot of holding and cuddles. The “mothering hormone”, prolactin, is produced every time you nurse, relaxing you and helping you and your baby form a special bond. One study showed that at one month, breastfeeding mothers were less anxious and felt closer to their babies. Breastfeeding saves money! Formulas vary in price and depending on how much of each is used, breastfeeding for one month may save between R500 and R900, not counting bottles, sterilizing solution, and electricity used for bottle feeding. Special formulas for lactose intolerant and re flux babies cost at least two to three time more than regular formula.
3. If your baby nurses for three to four months – she will be much less likely to develop ear infections. One study found that babies exclusively breastfed for at least four months develop half the ear infections of formula fed babies. Breastfeeding makes it easier for mothers to shed the extra kilos gained during pregnancy, and naturally mobilizes fat stores, even fat accumulated before pregnancy. Breastfeeding simplifies life with a baby, no matter what his age. Time isn’t diverted to the preparation of formula, and you can leave home without bringing bottles. Human milk does not stain, is not constipating, and a breastfed baby’s bowel movements have less odour, making nappy changes more pleasant. Nighttime feedings are made easier. If your baby is kept close at night, you may not even have to get out of bed to feed her. Just tuck her in next to you and both of you can drift back to sleep while she nurses.
4. If your baby nurses for six months – she will be much less likely to suffer from allergies, especially if she has been exclusively breastfed. Components in human milk protect the digestive tract from foreign proteins, which could cause allergic reactions. At about six months, a baby’s system begins producing special antibodies that take over this function, reducing the possibility of food allergies. When there is a history of allergies in the family, it is recommended to wait until this time to introduce solids, so food allergies are less likely to develop. Human milk supplies all the nutrients a baby needs for the first six months of her life. Breastfeeding for at least six months also provides other long-term health benefits. Breastfeeding provides reliable protection against pregnancy during the first six months when there is no menstrual bleeding, even among women who give occasional supplements. However, when a baby is breastfed without supplements or solids and the mother has no menstrual bleeding, breastfeeding offers 98% protection against pregnancy during the first six months (I would still play it safe with this one).
5. Nursing your baby for nine months – you will see him through the fastest and most important development of his life on the most valuable of foods, your milk. A baby’s brain grows most rapidly from birth to nine months, and preliminary research has found that properties in human milk may be critical for babies to reach their full intellectual potential. This study followed children up to the age of eight and found that children who were breastfed had IQs on average eight points higher than those who received only formula. The more human milk received the greater the difference. Because the milk of each species varies according to its need and it is our intelligence that sets us apart from other mammals, this is not so surprising. Cow’s milk is high in calcium because baby cows need strong bones to stand and walk. So it makes perfect sense that something in human milk promotes brain growth and intelligence. Although the health benefits of breastfeeding continue as baby grows, the emotional benefits of nursing for comfort and security become more evident around this age. A practical advantage to you is that many babies this age can go directly to the cup without ever needing bottles.
6. If your baby nurses for a year – you will have saved enough money to buy a luxury item or even treat yourself to a spa day. Your baby is now ready to try a whole range of new foods. A year of nursing has given your child a stronger immune system and many more health benefits that will last a lifetime. Studies have shown that breastfeeding offers protection from Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis in adulthood, as well as Hodgkin’s disease and certain chronic liver diseases. Individuals who were breastfed were also less likely to develop insulin-dependent diabetes. Breastfeeding also encourages proper facial development and makes it less likely that speech therapy and orthodontia will be needed later on. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for at least a year to ensure the best possible nutrition and health for your baby.
7. If your baby breastfeeds for longer than a year – you will continue to provide the highest quality nutrition and superb protection against illness at a time when infections are common. One study found that the immunological components of human milk that protect a baby from illness during the first year continue to be present in the same concentrations throughout the second year of breastfeeding. Former Surgeon General Antonia Novello has said, “It is the lucky baby…who continues to nurse until he’s two.” You will enjoy health benefits from extended nursing, too. Studies have found that the longer a woman breastfeeds over her lifetime, the lower her risk of breast cancer. Mothers who breastfeed past a year often talk of the emotional benefits gained: the comfort and security it gives their little ones, the ease it brings to nap times and bedtimes, and the opportunities it offers to relax and tune into each other during a hectic day. At this point, you and your baby have formed a solid bond, a healthy starting point from which your baby can experiment with his growing independence. Together you can work on the weaning process, progress gradually at a pace that he can handle.
8. If your baby nurses until she outgrows the need – you can feel confident that you have met your baby’s physical and emotional needs in the healthiest and most natural way possible. As long as you nurse, your milk continues to provide antibodies and other protective substances that make illnesses milder and easier to handle. In fact, families of nursing toddlers often find that their Doctor’s bills are lower for years to come. The World Health Organization encourages breastfeeding through toddler hood. Children who were nursed long-term tend to be secure. Nursing can help you and your child through the tears, tantrums, and tumbles of toddler hood. Don’t worry that your child will nurse forever. All children eventually wean no matter what you do, and there are more nursing toddlers around than you might guess.
Whether you breastfeed for days, weeks, months, or years, both you and your baby will enjoy many benefits. Some mothers hesitate to begin breastfeeding if they know they will not be nursing for very long. But even one nursing at the breast is of value to you and your baby.
Post by Carmen Peters – Owner of Babarazzi
Jo-Ann Strauss is one of South Africa’s most recognizable faces after a career spanning over 15 years in media and business. I am so honored to have received a mention from this gorgeous Modern Mommy. Jo-Ann blogs about the incredible journey of mommyhood in the modern world. With her permission we are republishing her blog her blog here so you can read what she has to say about the Doona Car Seat on her latest Modern Mommy Blog!
Most people get heart palpitations at the idea of traveling alone with a newborn. They think it’s an absurd idea to take a newborn to the Berlin Fashion Week … but, I like to challenge the conventional thinking of appropriate outings with our little one 😉 She’s too young for Disney World, but she loves the high-pitched Kardashians screeching “Darling, you look FABulous!”, so I think she’ll fit right in.
The amount of preparation and planning that goes into traveling with a newborn would cause even the most organized OCD sufferer to break into a mild sweat. Running through airports with too much hand luggage and having to clean up a blow-out poo (newborns have the tendency to soil themselves entirely with explosive poos especially when they’re doing name calls for final passengers to board and you’re on that list) is not a walk in the park. My main concern with this trip is that I would not be able to single-handedly carry a stroller, car seat, suitcase and hand luggage into a train carriage and taxi and some airlines only check in either a stroller or a carseat free of charge and then you’re forking out extra for an essential part of safe travel with a baby.
And then the good folks from Simple Parenting invented the Doona! I am absolutely amazed that someone did not think about this incredible piece of equipment earlier. With the click of a button, one of the safest carseats on the market becomes a stroller that is very easy to use and stylish looking too – so ideal for our Fashion Week expedition.
All the traveling parents from Roger Federer to Shakira to Princess Charlene and Prince Albert have them for their little ones. It makes sense too as it frees up valuable space in the boot for suitcases and shopping.
I shopped for my one on an awesome baby shopping site Babarazzi run by a mompreneur, Carmen Peters, who is due soon with her third baba! She waxed lyrical about it!!! And good luck, Carmen with your new little bundle of joy.
Lots of love and Light,